MONDAY, APRIL 29th 2013
The Morning Before
It was a foggy, foggy morning. So foggy that Jaden's school issued a 2 hour delay. As a Mom who isn't a huge fan of rushing 3 kids around early in the morning, I love 2 hour delays! The kids were able to sleep in, get ready for school slowly, and still have time to play with our 1-day old basketball hoop in the driveway! The fog disappeared and it turned into a gorgeous morning. After dropping off Jaden at school, I was driving home and happened to notice a cross in the sky and snapped a picture...
It was a fabulous, laid back, smooth morning!
Our last one on 42nd St.
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| The photo I posted on Facebook Monday morning. |
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| The cross in the sky. |
TUESDAY, APRIL 30th 2013
The Day Lightning Struck
I remember waking up to the sound of thunder around 6:45 a.m. Matt had already left for work but it was still pitch black outside. I saw some lightning flashes through the curtains along with the thunder. I was just hoping the storm wouldn't wake up the kids. Because I am my husband's wife, (he's a bit of a weather freak!) I checked the radar on my phone to see how long it would be before it blew over. It was a very long, very skinny band of bright red stretching across Michigan, but was directly over us so I knew it wouldn't last much longer. Before I even had a chance to lay my phone back on the night stand, the lightning struck. It was the loudest sound I have ever heard in my life. It was the typical 'crack of lightning' sound but multiplied by a million. I knew it was lightning right away but it sounded like an explosion went off in the hallway outside of our bedrooms. I wasn't sure exactly what it hit but I knew it hit very close to us. The smoke alarms sounded immediately.
I ripped my covers off and jumped out of bed in a hot second. In a t-shirt, undies and no contacts in, I quickly opened the door to the hallway to find that it was very stinky and smoky, but it was totally dark so I couldn't see much else. I opened Daniel’s bedroom door and was very surprised that he wasn't awake from the deafening blast. I quickly woke him, and made a huge effort to keep calm for him, even though my heart felt like it was beating out of my chest. He started to get worried when he realized the smoke alarm was going off. I carried him to Marissa’s room saying, “It’s ok! It's just beeping because of the storm. Let’s get Marissa and come this way…” I carried both of them to the dining room by the slider door in hopes I could open the blinds and let a little bit of light in. With no luck, I grabbed a flashlight, checked out the hallway and noticed the wall around the light switch had black burn marks about 6 inches all the way around it and also noticed that the doorbell box had completely exploded. There were little pieces of plastic scattered all the way from the back slider door to the front door.
I decided I needed to call 911 but then quickly hung up before it rang. For some reason, I just wanted to check with Matt to see if he thought I should call! I'd hate to bother them if there wasn't anything actually wrong! Matt didn't answer and 911 called me back right away. I told her that I thought my house was struck by lightning and that it was smokey in the hallway and I wasn't really sure what to do. She didn't instruct me in the way I thought she would, assuming there is some sort of "lightning protocol!" “Ma’am, do you see flames? If you see flames you need to get out of the house!” I'm thinking... Well duh, I know that. I don’t see any flames! I would have mentioned flames! I knew the smoke in the hallway came from the light switch getting fried. I never saw any flames. By now the smoke alarm had stopped and the air had cleared. She asked if I wanted the fire department to come and I told her yes, I wanted them to check it out.
So here I am with 2 very confused, sleepy, small children, pant-less, bra-less, with blurry eye sight and feeling quite panicked. My first thought is that these firemen are coming so I need to get some pants on! I sat my nervous kids, who didn't want me to leave them, on the couch with blankets and iPads, promised I’d be quick, then went back to my room, dodging the sharp plastic pieces, to grab some pants. Matt called back so I explained to him what happened, that I called 911 and they were on their way. He was quite concerned and shocked but was also confident that I did the right thing and that the firefighters would have everything under control. I stayed on the phone with him until they came and I was going to keep him in the loop.
The fire chief pulled up to our house in his red pickup truck. I saw him walking up slowly, checking out the house. He knocked on the door and when I opened it, the first thing he said was, “This wasn't like this before, was it?” The doorbell on the outside of the house was blasted out and completely charred. Ummm nope, it wasn't! He asked a few questions and looked around, upstairs and downstairs. He even asked what all the plastic pieces on the floor were! I kind of laughed and told him that was the doorbell... He called it in right away. Only a few minutes later, a whole crew of firemen came walking in, in full gear. Cue the kids’ panic! The guys were super nice, joking, being extra friendly, and getting down to the kids’ level explaining that they were there to help us. There is truly something terrifying about seeing a group of big men in full fire gear walk into your home, though. I didn't blame them for being afraid. It suddenly became very real and I was very glad I called, especially after now seeing the fire department's concern.
After one minute of them looking around, we were kindly but seriously told it was time to get out of the house…NOW. A firefighter carried Daniel and I carried Rissa out to the truck after I quickly put on some shoes. I called Matt again and told him what was going on. We decided it was time for him to get home!
After sitting in the truck for (what seemed like) a while, they told me that they thought the lightning struck the chimney and that insulation was on fire in the attic. They needed to saw a hole in the roof and pull out the ignited insulation through the hole. Now I am realizing that this is not going to be a quick fix. I called my sister Kate, told her what was happening and asked her to come pick up my kids and bring them to her house. Thankfully, she didn't have to work that day!!
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| Marissa smiling in the fire truck. |
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| Daniel and Mama in the fire truck. Daniel was not happy. |
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| Our view of what was going on from the fire truck. |
My sister came and picked up the kids and a few minutes later Matt finally made it home. I was so glad to have him there with me. The storm was over so we were hanging around outside explaining to the neighbors what had happened. Many of them had appliances, garage doors, cable and internet not working. They all talked about how loud it was. I said "I know, it was 10 feet away from me!" It was much farther away from them! We were kept updated with the progress of the firefighters pulling out the insulation. They were putting it into a special shredder which made a really toxic insulation dust cloud. They told us not to breathe it in. At this point, I felt uncertain about what was happening most of the time. One minute we thought everything was fine, then the next thing we know, they were asking us if there was anything of importance that we wanted them to get out of the house. When asked that question, it's hard not to answer, 'everything!' We told them we wanted our 3 cats, my laptop and I asked for my glasses so I could finally see clearly. They found Toby, a fire fighter brought him out and said, "This one isn't very happy!" as Toby was growling, but they couldn't find Tucker or Nala. He brought me my glasses and also made us move the van out of the garage.
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| Fire fighters pulling out insulation. |
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| Working on the roof, where the lightning struck, pulling out insulation. |
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| Chatting with our neighbors. |
The fire chief let us know that we would be able to go in the house soon but they were still checking out a few "hot spots." While waiting around, I started to get a headache and I was feeling very delirious. For some reason, the world became very tunnel vision-like and I was having a hard time understanding what anyone was talking about. I remember talking to my mom on the phone and she was telling me about when her house in Arkansas was struck by lightning. I was thinking to myself, what is Arkansas?? Then Matt was talking about the cats and where they might be hiding and I asked him who 'Tucker' was, because I had no clue. My adrenaline was wearing off, my brain was on overload, overwhelmed and was starting to shut down.
Quite inconveniently, during the middle of my mental meltdown, we got the ‘all clear’ to go in the house. We were supposed to pack overnight bags since we wouldn't be able to sleep there. The house looked destroyed inside. Walls were opened up, ceilings opened up, insulation and dry wall covered the entire floor, doors off their jams, furniture moved around. It would have been overwhelming for an already not overwhelmed person! I couldn't comprehend what the kids would need packed, what to pack it in, or where to even find anything. I was a wreck. I packed the most random articles of clothing for the kids. We grabbed the bare necessities, our 3 kitties, and got the heck out of there, along with everyone else.
That was supposed to be “the end.”
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| Neighborhood phone box cover blown off. |
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| Our phone box blew off... |
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| ...all the way over here... |
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| Our cable wire was broke open and fried. |
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| Both doorbells blown up and fried. |
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| Marissa's room, where they put a hole in the ceiling. |
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| The hole in Marissa's bedroom ceiling. |
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| Ax backlash from knocking out the wall across. |
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| Looking down the hallway, and a teary me. |
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| My computer nook. |
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| Pieces of doorbell scattered from front door to the back door. |
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| What was left of the exploded doorbell. |
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| This was the light switch that was responsible for all the smoke. |
"Grandville woman awakes to loud 'blast' as lightning strikes home"
We headed over to Kate's house and I immediately took a much needed nap to decompress and get my brain back to normal. Matt went back to the house with his parents, to get all of the food out of the fridge/freezer and move it to their house since there was still no power and wouldn't be for a long time. They threw around the idea of getting a truck from work and loading up a bunch of stuff but Matt was understandably ready to get out of there and needed to relax also. “We’ll deal with all of it tomorrow” was the thought on all of our minds.
After a nice rest I was feeling much better and more composed. We sat down to enjoy a little Burger King and we were trying to figure out what we were going to do next. Where would we stay until the roof, walls, and electrical were all fixed? How long will that take? Should we just look for a new place? Where will we store all of our things?
My sister’s phone rang… It was our close friend Todd, who is a Rockford firefighter. He asked if we were headed back to the house. Assuming he knew that we were given the ‘all clear,’ Kate explained to him that we were having a bite to eat and planned on going back tomorrow and dealing with everything then. Todd heard on his radio that a neighbor walking by noticed smoke and flames coming from the house and called 911. It started back on fire, with no one there to notice. Kate told us, “Your house is on fire again! You need to go there NOW.” Our hearts just sank. All we could think was, you’re kidding me, right? This can't possibly be happening.
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Photo credit: Sandy VanderTol Photography (my neighbor)
Hooking up to water. |
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Photo credit: Sandy VanderTol Photography (my neighbor)
Fighting the fire defensively. No fire fighters needed to enter the house. |
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Photo credit: Sandy VanderTol Photography (my neighbor)
Black smoke pours out while trying to put the fire out and keep it from igniting anything else. |
What did it feel like to see this? It felt fake. This couldn't actually be happening. Pulling up to your home, filled with all of your precious, sentimental belongings, everything you've worked for, the rooms that hold many of your kids’ firsts’, the stuff you left on the counter, the kids’ latest art projects, a few straggler dishes in the sink, watching YOUR LIFE 100% consumed with big, tall, very hot, angry, bright red-orange flames and billowing black smoke. It’s literally impossible to put the pain we felt into words. Watching your always strong, always optimistic husband break down, cry and say “…What the hell are we going to do?” is something you are never prepared to see. We were lost together. There were dozens of neighbors and passerby's watching the ‘action.’ Although we knew many people were there for our support, I couldn't help but feel like our home, burning before everyone, was a giant bonfire for all to enjoy. I just wanted everyone to look away.
The whole time they were putting out the fire is sort of a blur. We were JUST here, and were told everything was fine. I’m sure I just stood there watching and crying and saying "Oh my God, what are we going to do?" over and and over. I remember talking to Kate and my Dad on the phone, I balled my eyes out to both of them hysterically. They both kept telling me not to worry, that everything would be ok and that all that mattered was that everyone was safe. It’s probably a good thing Kate wasn't there with me, because she was certainly able to keep her composure over the phone! I also remember Dan and Pat showing up. My poor mother-in-law just fresh out of having a minor surgery, came running to our rescue! It was wonderfully comforting to see them and hug them. There were such waves of emotion. Sobbing, worry, panic, and even laughter. I remember saying, "Well, now I don't have to worry about replacing the blinds the kids wrecked!"
No firefighters came and talked to us this time. There was nothing to be said or done besides do their best to keep it under control so nothing else caught on fire. Especially since our neighbor's house behind us was quite close to ours. I know the firefighters felt bad for having to come back again after giving an all clear just a few hours ago. The fire investigator said the lightning struck the TV antenna/chimney area and followed the electrical through the attic and into the bathroom wall, behind the mirror inside a cement block. It sliced the cement blocks if half, like butter which explained part of the "explosion" sound. It also left some serious marks in the tree behind the house from its “fingers." The firefighters just didn't know that there was fire or any hot spots behind that wall. They never opened any walls in the bathroom.
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| The cement blocks behind the bathroom wall/mirror that were hit. Location of where fire restarted. |
After the fire was put out and the roof was knocked in, all of the firefighters and "watchers" left and went home. We were the ones stuck with this disaster and heartbreak. One morning, one storm, one bolt of lightning, and my entire life is shaken upside-down. My parents came to be there with us. Matt and Bryan were pulling out everything that might be salvaged. The fire took all of our belongings along with our sense of safety and security, trust, confidence, and a piece of our hearts, our home.
"Grandville home destroyed after fire caused by lightning strike rekindles"
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Photo Credit: Sandy VanderTol Photography (my neighbor)
They knocked down the roof for safety reasons. It was going to fall on it's own if they didn't. |
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Photo Credit: Sandy VanderTol Photography (my neighbor)
What was left. |
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| A pile of rubble. What just hours before was our home |
Some Before & After Pictures of the house: The day we moved in, and the day we moved out.
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| Kitchen Before |
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| Kitchen After |
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| Kitchen Before |
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| Kitchen After |
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| Living Room Before with our BRAND NEW leather couch and chair. |
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| Living Room After |
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| Boys' Room Before |
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| Boys' Room After (New Bunk Beds, Desk & Dressers) |
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| Marissa's Room Before |
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| Marissa's Room After (New Bed) |
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| Bathroom Before |
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| Bathroom After |
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| Hallway Before |
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| Hallway After |
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| House Before - This was the photo in the ad when we were house hunting. (It had green shutters when we moved in) |
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| House After - They boarded up the windows and we were off to my parent's house. |
We moved in on December 25th 2010 and April 30th 2013 was our last day there.
Every minute since that day, I have been extremely thankful and grateful for the fact that my children and my husband were SAFE that morning. Nobody was injured from lightning and no one was in the house when it rekindled. We were given the opportunity to save our cats, our cars, our phones, our iPads, my laptop with hundreds of pictures, and my Canon Rebel camera, too. I clearly see the blessing before us. This tragedy could have been a million, billion, trillion, times worse and I understand that from sun up until sun down to this day.
To say the least, we were completely blown away by the amount of love and support from our family, friends, community and complete strangers here, there, and everywhere. It isn't easy accepting cash and really nice donations, you desperately need, from friends, family, or from people you've never met before or hardly know. Talk about humility.
The donations poured in like crazy and the mailbox was full every day. To only list a few... (Because that would be a whole different blog post!) A firefighter, who helped put our fire out, dropped off a goodie basket for each of the kids with new toys and adorable clothes. He was teary and offered his sincere condolences to our family.
I will never forget the lady who rode up to our house on her bike after the fire was put out. She handed me an envelope labeled, “Emergency Fund” filled with cash (over $3o0 inside) and told me she was saving it for a ‘rainy day.’ She told me she was a Godly woman and that she was just happy to be blessed enough to help others in need. She didn't tell me her name, she just hugged me as I cried. I thanked her a million times, and she rode off.
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| The actual envelope from the "bike lady." |
We stayed with my parents in Rockford for a few weeks. Every worry we had, they made us feel better. I don't know what I would have done without their support for those heart-breaking first days/weeks afterwards. The morning after the fire I woke up crying. The reality came crashing down and I knew it was going to be a rough day. I didn't really know what to think or what to do or where to start. We decided it was best for Matt to go to work for part of the day. There wasn't much for him to do anyways. My mom and sister swooped me up and decided we were going to be productive that day! We went to the laundromat and washed all of the disgusting, stinky clothes we pulled out from the house. We also went to Meijer for bathroom necessities and the beauty supply store. My parents told me to pick out all new hair styling/cutting tools - first thing! They carried me through and helped me more than I could ever explain.
Staying in Rockford was quite a drive for Matt who works in Holland and also kind of a pain for me to bring Daniel and Jaden to school in Jenison every day. We looked around at apartments and found a 3 bedroom in Jenison and moved in on May 14th.
This was our apartment in Jenison where we lived for 5 months.
Everything you see was donated to us in the 2 short weeks we stayed with my parents.
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Boy's Room - The bunk beds were the only piece of
furniture that was saved from the house. |
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| Boys' Room |
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| Marissa's Room |
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| Marissa's Room |
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| Master Bedroom |
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| Teeny Tiny Kitchen |
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| Dining Room/Mud Room |
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| Living Room |
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| Master Sink Area |
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| Master Bathroom |
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| Kid's Bathroom |
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| Hallway |
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| Laundry |
171 days after the fire, on October 18th 2013, we finally moved into our new home in Byron Center. It wasn't the location we had planned for, but it is the perfect house for us and we have grown to love the area. I love the neighborhood, I love the yard, I love the schools, I especially loved that it was not a tiny apartment, I love everything about it.
One Year Anniversary.
I have my 3 beautiful children, my rock of a husband, our family pets, a gorgeous house that we are turning into a home, so who could ask for anything more? Basically everything in our house is donations and gifts from hundreds of generous people, so it’s impossible to forget all that you have done for us. I have to come realize that it is going to take many years to build up the belongings we once had, and to grieve the loss of our "home" and the things we can not get back. I've realized it's OK to not be 'over' it yet and that it's OK that I may never get 'over' it. That day changed our lives forever.
To this day my heart races when I hear thunder, see lightning, see a picture of rainy radar, if I see or hear a fire truck, or smell that terrible stench left on the items we pulled out. It's not because I am not 'afraid' of these things, or afraid that it will happen again, it's just my body's natural reaction. I have heard from numerous people that this is a normal feeling after going through a traumatic experience. Experiencing traumatic situations can actually physically change your brain chemistry.
I am reminded on every Tuesday of the month, every 30th of each month, and not to mention every time the kids ask about it, if I come across a picture or if I find myself looking for something I used to own but don't anymore. There are many triggers that remind us of that day, but we refuse to let them define us. We choose to see the positives and let them shine brighter than the negatives.
For this first anniversary, I originally planned to find something to 'do' to distract us from the bad memories of that day but then I realized I just want it to be a 'normal' day. I would have given ANYTHING that day, to have a normal day. (although, if it's storming, I may not let Matt leave for work!) We'll celebrate all of our blessings together in our comfy new home and not dwell upon or worry about the bad parts. We have learned that there is no greater ‘insurance’ than family, friends, community, and most importantly, our heavenly Father above, who held us very close that day and still continues to.
I know a lot of people are curious about where we moved to and are
interested to see our new home so here are a few pictures!
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| Move In Day! |
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| Backyard |
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| Backyard |
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| Living Room |
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| Living Room |
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| Living Room |
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| Dining/Kitchen |
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| Back Entryway/Laundry |
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| Laundry |
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| Back Entryway |
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| Main Floor Bathroom |
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| Main Floor Bathroom |
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| Jaden's Room |
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| Jaden's Bedroom |
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| Garage |
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| Garage |
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| Garage |
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| Stairway Down |
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| Downstairs Bathroom |
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| Downstairs |
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| Downstairs |
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| Downstairs |
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| Matt's Office |
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| Storage Room |
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| Upstairs Hallway |
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| Upstairs Bath |
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| Master Bedroom (& Toby!) |
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| Master Bedroom |
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| Daniel's Bedroom |
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| Daniel's Bedroom |
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| Daniel's Bedroom |
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| Daniel's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
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| Rissa's Bedroom |
From the bottom of our hearts - We can not say Thank You enough to everyone for the immense amount of love, generous gifts, support, care and compassion throughout this entire year! We truly need it and greatly appreciate it!
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Two Year Anniversary.
Wow, re-reading all of that gives me tingles! Sometimes I wonder how we managed the strength and courage to truck through that day, and more impressively, that whole first year. It is pretty amazing how time heals wounds. I think we have come to a place where we don't think about the fire every day anymore. I remember last year dreading the anniversary for weeks. Even after a year, there was still a real fear of resurfacing the pain we felt that day. We were still licking our wounds. I could list off a bunch of cliche sayings...
"Everything happens for a reason."
"God has a plan for you."
"What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
"You will never be given more than you can handle."
"Good things come to those who wait."
...all of which seem to be fitting and probably TRUE but let me tell you, when you are going through a profound, traumatic, life-altering experience, these are the last things you want to hear. NOW, looking back, the cliche sayings all have some merit. I am glad I felt the terrible feelings I did because I've earned permission to allow myself to feel so much better about it now. Losing our home and sense of security will never leave our minds and our hearts. It has changed us and who we are.
Sometimes the kids ask to drive past the 42nd St. house after Mass on Sundays and we reminisce a little. Marissa has no recollection but the boys sure do. This past Sunday, we drove by and there was a lady doing yard work outside. Every bone in my body wanted to pull in the driveway, introduce myself, and beg for a tour so I can see how it was all rebuilt inside! Nah, better not! I pray that they enjoy that house and make great family memories as we did.
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| 42nd St. house after being rebuilt. |
We are still living in Byron Center which has been really wonderful. I can't decipher if it was the circumstances of moving into this house or maybe it's the lingering "2-year rental agreement" but for whatever reason, this house has not fulfilled the "home" vacancy in our hearts. It suits us well, but we've been lacking the connection and comforts of feeling truly settled.
Back in January we found and fell in love with a piece of land in Hudsonville. With the help, love, and support of our families we are excited to announce that we are building a house this Summer! I am so eager to nestle into our own home, grow some strong, (permanent!!) roots and have a place to call our own where we can finally exhale a big sigh of relief and feel some real closure. I think that will be the last puzzle piece, or the period - if you will - to our story. Please pray for us while we continue our healing journey, especially as we endure this new, fresh, and exciting chapter of our lives! We love and cherish all of you and your part in our lives the past 2 years! We will continue to pray for you and yours!
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| Matt and I on our lot :) |
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| The location of where our house will be built this Summer! |
----------------------------------- THREE YEARS LATER
We have our
'Happy Ever After'
and our
'Home Sweet Home!'
God is great and we are thankful and blessed!
We don't dread the fire's anniversary anymore! Matt and I talked and reminisced about that day last night and after reading the blog again, it makes you realize what sort of strength God trusts in you. Our beautiful new home was supposed to be finished the last week of March but I just knew that God had other plans to change the feel of 'April' for us. 😊 After little delays here and there, our closing day changed to April 6, 2016. I see what you did there, God.
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Please share our story!
We pray that everyone who donated gifts, money, thoughts, and prayers for us can see how extremely grateful we are and also see our progress thus far. We love you all, deeply!
